Every morning, I had a ritual that went something like this.  I’d look in the mirror, analyze myself and make a mental wish list of all the things I’d like to change.  Carrying a healthy dose of self loathing, I’d step into the shower, and begin obsessing about the day’s challenges.  How would I overcome them?  What if I couldn’t?  By the time I got to work, my stomach was in knots and I felt defeated before the day began.

I became caught in the “if only cycle”  If only I was prettier, I’d be happy.  If only I had a better job I’d be happy.  If only I had children, I’d be happy.  I thought that happiness and joy were qualities that belonged to those who were lucky enough to possess near perfect lives, those who by some miracle escaped the challenges, the worries and the routine of everyday life.  How did they get so fortunate?

But joy doesn’t have to be elusive, a treasure given only to a select few.  We can choose happiness by changing the things in our lives that hinder it, starting with our own thoughts.  Our thoughts carry such power.  In fact, they create our reality. If we think we are not good enough and we don’t deserve happiness, we will live as if that is true.  If we think that we are worthy of joy and deserving of all that life has to offer, we will be.

Happiness isn’t dictated by our circumstances.  It’s dicated by us.  We just have to choose it.